(Mem: 10 Sept 1989)
Quite casual it was!. I said: “Goodbye!”.
You answered with a silent nod. Then I
Departed. At your strong insistence —
After three decades of our shared existence;
Such complex years of courtship, marriage, gain,
Children and happiness; of loss and pain,
Love, hope, despair and every common thing
That special meanings to mixed lifetimes bring —
The door to intimacy firmly shut.
I have not found — because I have not sought? —
Some substitute to fill that vacancy
Which desolates the inmost heart of me;
For could I sacrifice another’s hopes upon
Obsession’s altar, as has happened to your own?.